dealing with loss

Just a quick post to let you all know what has been going on. My paternal grandmother passed away on Wednesday morning. I yet again have to deal with loss though this one was hardly unexpected. She lived a very long and fruitful life, though as the end neared she did not fully recognize her family. I find that I am dealing with this as I have dealt with things all my life. I have been internalizing the emotions and staying the even keel. Not showing how much it bothers me, or the dread I have in explaining to my children the unexplainable. How can I tell them about death when I don’t fully understand it myself. I try to put forth the strong image, the image I believe they wish to see of their father, but inside I struggle with the issues of my mortality and if I will be missed when I am gone. Will my children be as callous as my mother is when planning my funeral. Will they be more motivated by the costs involved rather then grieve the loss of a parent. I just don’t know.

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