Yeah I guess I’m just dumb, so what. It took me what more than a week, but I finally realized that I am just a quitter. A big fat lazy quitter. I haven’t written a word since the saturday before last, not on anything but my blog. Why you may ask? I have quit. I realized that I allowed my depression to stop me. I was depressed about what is going on in my private life and what it will mean down the road. I am depressed about not finishing NaNoWriMo. I should be happy about writing so much. I’ve never even come close to writing anything like what I did. I have so much more to tell about that story as well, but I haven’t continued. I have quit doing something that I enjoyed. I haven’t been in the right frame of mind, and as I sit back and ponder the reason why, I realize that I am punishing myself. I’m punishing myself for all the things I have done in the past to hurt those I love, by taking away the one thing that over the past few months I have enjoyed doing. I’m not sure when I can write again, or if I’ll allow myself to. Maybe once I feel I have punished myself enough. I don’t know.
