Overwhelmed and confused
It has been really tough, juggling all the things life throws at you. My wife has been a bit overwhelmed with the kids lately. I feel like I have to do more at home. It also makes me feel as though I don’t do enough. I set up a schedule to do the weekly chores around the house. I also wanted to see what would happen if I stopped doing them all. I know that I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I guess I needed proof. I did them all and worked every day, and a few times I had to take care of the kids as well, because my wife had end of school stuff to do. So once she was home, I figured I’d let her do it all like I had been. Well, things have not gone well. She is off schedule, does too much one day not enough the next. I just don’t think that she can follow the plan. She says the kids are too much on top of the chores, maybe they are, but I did them, and too care of the kids and worked. I guess I’m just bitter. She lets things overwhelm her. She lets things get her down on herself. I’m not wired that way I guess. I don’t let things bother me as much as they do her. I used to, don’t get me wrong. I let things bother me so much I was a candidate for a heart attack. So I changed. I stopped letting things bother me, what was the point of worrying that my boss might get upset if I make the call. If I make the call and it is the wrong one, I get reprimanded, I learn from my mistake and move on. I can’t worry about it. There are more important things in the world. I have been getting involved in playing Xbox games again. I’m using it as an escape, I realize that now. I’m upset that she can’t make the schedule happen, and that I’ll have to take over to make it work again. I know that there is probably a middle ground that can be reached, but I also know that when she goes back to work, it will fall squarely on my shoulders to do it. Sometimes I feel that she thinks that my job isn’t as taxing as hers, or that I’m inferior to her. I hope that she doesn’t feel that way. I just don’t know. I guess I just have to take it back over and get the house back in order. Hopefully somewhere in there, I’ll have time to do the things I want to do. I hope that my writing and reading won’t suffer, but I suspect that they will.

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